Family and marriage
विवाह कुटुम्ब
Also written: hindu marriage · saptapadi · vivaha · seven vows hindu wedding · joint family · विवाह
Marriage is the fifteenth saṃskāra and the pivot of the whole scheme: it begins the householder stage, which supports every other stage, and it lights the domestic fire on which all later household rites are performed.
The seven steps
The saptapadī is the legally and ritually decisive act — after the seventh step the marriage is complete. Each step is taken with a stated purpose.
| Step | Asked for |
|---|---|
| First | Food and nourishment |
| Second | Strength — physical, mental and spiritual |
| Third | Prosperity, by righteous means |
| Fourth | Happiness, through mutual respect |
| Fifth | Progeny, and their wellbeing |
| Sixth | The seasons in their due order — a life lived in rhythm |
| Seventh | Lifelong friendship: 'with seven steps, become my friend' |
सखा सप्तपदी भव।
sakhā saptapadī bhava
With these seven steps, become my friend.
The marriage hymn
Ṛgveda 10.85 — the Sūryā-vivāha, the wedding of the Sun's daughter — is the source of most of what is still recited at a Hindu wedding three thousand years later. Its central act is the taking of the hand, and the verse states the purpose in its first line.
गृभ्णामि ते सौभगत्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः। भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरन्धिर्मह्यं त्वादुर्गार्हपत्याय देवाः॥
gṛbhṇāmi te saubhagatvāya hastaṁ mayā patyā jaradaṣṭir yathāsaḥ bhago aryamā savitā purandhir mahyaṁ tvādur gārhapatyāya devāḥ
I take your hand for good fortune, that with me as husband you may reach old age. Bhaga, Aryaman, Savitṛ and Purandhi — the gods have given you to me for household life.
Jaradaṣṭi — 'reaching old age together' — is the stated aim, and gārhapatya, household life, is the stated purpose. Neither line mentions offspring, property or lineage; both of those appear elsewhere in the hymn, but not here, at the moment the hand is taken. And the blessing pronounced over the couple asks for exactly one thing.
इहैव स्तं मा वि यौष्टं विश्वमायुर्व्यश्नुतम्। क्रीळन्तौ पुत्रैर्नप्तृभिर्मोदमानौ स्वे गृहे॥
ihaiva staṁ mā vi yauṣṭaṁ viśvam āyur vyaśnutam krīḷantau putrair naptṛbhir modamānau sve gṛhe
Remain here, the two of you; do not be parted. Attain the full span of life, playing with sons and grandsons, rejoicing in your own home.
The same hymn addresses the bride on entering her husband's household, and the word it uses four times is not a domestic one.
सम्राज्ञी श्वशुरे भव सम्राज्ञी श्वश्र्वां भव। ननान्दरि सम्राज्ञी भव सम्राज्ञी अधि देवृषु॥
samrājñī śvaśure bhava samrājñī śvaśrvāṁ bhava nanāndari samrājñī bhava samrājñī adhi devṛṣu
Be an empress over your husband's father; be an empress over his mother; be an empress over his sister; be an empress over his brothers.
Samrājñī is the feminine of samrāj — sovereign, emperor. It is repeated four times, once for each senior member of the household she is entering, including both parents-in-law. Whatever later custom did to the position of a daughter-in-law, the Vedic text seats her at the head of the house on the day she arrives, and it is śruti.
The eight classical forms
The Dharma Śāstra lists eight forms of marriage and ranks them: Brāhma (given to a learned man, with honour), Daiva, Ārṣa, Prājāpatya — the four approved; and Āsura (bride bought), Gāndharva (by mutual consent alone, without ceremony), Rākṣasa (by force) and Paiśāca (by deception) — the four disapproved, the last two condemned outright. That marriage by mutual love was recognised as a valid form at all, and that marriage by purchase was ranked below it, is worth noting.
Manu, having listed and ranked the eight, then states in a single verse what the whole institution reduces to — and the statement is symmetrical.
anyonyasyāvyabhicāro bhaved ā-maraṇāntikaḥ eṣa dharmaḥ samāsena jñeyaḥ strī-puṁsayoḥ paraḥ
Mutual fidelity until death — this, in brief, is to be known as the highest dharma of wife and husband.
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Last revised 2026-08-16. Corrections are welcome — see how this site is written.